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Red Velvet Cake Pops (insert mad laughter here)

This post should be titled the cute little cake pops that weren't, or "cake flops" instead of pops.

I have this list going of recipes to make from the blogs I follow. 

Stuff that sounds easy and yummy with a dose of cute.  So when Nicole over at Thrifty Decorating put up a tutorial on her blog saying she's not a baker at ALL and could successfully make these,  I thought 'WELL then I should be able to do those noooooo problem'.

Nicole is a better woman than I.

Cake Flops,

The Don't Do List:

1.  Do not pick Duncan Hines Red Velvet cake mix.

Mr. Hines takes the "red" part very seriously.

It starts out a nice dry chocolate color.
It morphs when you add the wet ingredients just like those cute furry gremlins from that movie.

There is more red food dye in that stuff than there is water in the ocean. 

2.  Do not think you are being fun and use a rotary beater for beating cake mix like they did in the olden days.

If you lift it out of the batter while turning the crank, it will still splatter.

I'm the one that did that, not my 4 year old helper.

He followed my directions to keep the beaters down in the bowl.  I should have too.

Cake Flops,
Child who follows directions, unlike adult
3.  Don't use a white towel to clean up the mishap from step #2.

It will look like you gut a deer on your counter and smear all over.

Notice both kids coincidentally happened to have the right color on for today's event, the counter however was is white.

Cake Flops,
Cries if you try to take away the spoon.

4.  IF you do choose the Red Velvet by Duncan Hines, don't let kids lick any part of the utensils.

My helper and his sister now look like wild wolves after they feast on a wildebeest.  Red Velvet stains.

Cake Flops,

Looks like he got his tongue and lips caught.

It is an optical illusion, that's just how red that stupid cake mix is.

Next Halloween just buy Red Velvet cake mix for your little vampire.

5.  Don't answer the phone and also try to make mac n cheese while you let little ones nosh on the red velvet utensils.

It's that much harder to clean off of them if it sits for any length of time.

I repeat - Red Velvet stains.

Cake Flops,

Eventually you will end up with a cooked cake and you mix the frosting with the broken up and cooled cake. 

Starting to sound promising huh?  Mush and mix it, looks perfect just like it's suppose too. 

Roll into balls.

 6.  Do not get impatient rolling the cake into balls and make them different sizes just because the lovely red velvet cake is turning your lily white hands the same color as the mouths of the wild wolves.

I'm gonna write "Be Mine" on my hands and give them to Brawn for Valentines Day. 

Or maybe I'll just give a finger to Duncan Hines.

Cake Flops,

Melt just a bit of the chocolate wafers and stick your sticks in the cake pops. 

This part went according to plan and gets an A+ and a large picture.

Cake Flops,

6.  Do not think you are smarter than Nicole and melt your chips in the microwave instead of a double boiler.

Just when you start to believe you may be able to salvage this little recipe, it will pass the point of no return... and no chocolate on your cake pops.

Cake Flops,

Bowl of hard undipable chocolate.

That's it - I'm done.  The end.

And updipable is not a word.

I'd rather paint furniture, shovel snow, or give birth to triplets, than ever make cake pops again. 

The cute sprinkles I have to go on them... put away.

Brawn being the sweetheart he is, decided he'd just frost his own with the chocolate and eat it.  I tried to tell him it wasn't necessary that the frosting was already in the balls and he could eat 'em just like that. 

I don't think he got what I meant, and he wanted to make me feel better by at least eating one.  I mean cake pops are only tasty if they are cute right?

The wild beasts were sent off with red rings around their lips.  As long as I don't have to explain what blood hungry little animals they were, no harm done.

Linking this up to CountryMommaCooks


  1. This is hysterical! Could anything else have gone wrong?! The amount of dye in the cupcake mix is terrible. What a shame. But don't feel too bad, I had all sorts of plans to bake and have done nothing!


  2. Ha ha!! Thank you for removing the less then pleasant version of Mr. Wiggles! They look pretty tasty though! I think thou dramatized the pain. It wasn't that bad :). I will take note of your pain and not attempt a cake pop.

  3. Oh, you make me laugh till I cry and then I have a hard time reading the rest of the post. This is hilarious!!

  4. That is hysterical....thanks for the laugh! I think I'll pass on the cake pops and just stick with the cupcakes I was planning on making later :o)

  5. Are you by any chance a direct descendant of Lucille Ball? That's who I'm picturing as I read your post. Very funny and I'm sure a very FUN time for the little kitchen assistants!

  6. Yeah, people make those cute cake pops and feature them all over the blog world. I figured it was harder than it looked! I do love the ouch picture!

  7. HA! I have made cake balls, and they are NOT fun, but they sure are tasty. What cute photos though.

  8. Awww!! Sorry you had such a tough time with your cake balls. This is too funny though!

  9. Love your humor. Love that you might give the finger to Duncan Hines. Thanks for the laugh. I also love the comment above about being a direct descendant of Lucille Ball. So so so funny!


  10. I made them once, lots of work and time on it and than no one liked them...NICE!

  11. What a fun post....thanks for the laugh! Have a wonderful day and Happy Valentine's Day to you, Gail

  12. Hilarious! I bet they still tasted fine!

  13. LOL They still look yummy!

    Happy Valentine's Day!


  14. Oh my gosh, Murphy's Law! I think cake pops are so cute and fun, but I have never tried them myself because I am 100% certain this is exactly how it would go for me. It was a really good try though! :)

  15. Apologies that my mention of 'the blob' on my blogroll, (I had a big black spider on there once, which was much worse - perhaps I should have mentioned that !) actually MADE you go and make mini red blobs and turn some lovely kids into hungry wolves, and all that clearing up that you encountered thereafter !!!
    Not sure you had a fun day, but the rest of us sure did - reading this !

  16. You are hilarious! I'm forwarding this post to my daughter. She couldn't make the cake pops either. They look so pretty in the store and ours look like lava rocks.

  17. so funny..I love your humor!! The whole idea of cake pops sounds wonderful...ha..i am not going to even try!
    i am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

  18. Anonymous2/14/2012

    I am so mad I missed out on the photo of "Mr. Wiggly". It is Valentine's Day after all. Like I said on your previous post, you sure do have a thing for funny shaped balls. The things I miss when I have to work!!! Regardless, that is some serious red dye. Thank you so much for the PSA about the hazards of not only the false sense of cuteness in making cake pops but Red Velvet cake mix! You saved my white kitchen Bliss. You saved it!

  19. Seriously, I make THE UGLIEST cake pops ever! I can never get them to turn out pretty, but no one at my house seems to care.

    Your description of what your hands look like when rolling them is dead on! You just make me laugh! :D ~Lori

  20. I was rolling on the floor laughing so hard! I even read it a second time out loud to Mr. Man when he started asking why I was laughing so hard. Thanks for the fun!!! :)

  21. I really want to try making these some day. My daughter received one in her Valentine's sack yesterday and they are so much fun! Thanks so much for your kind comments on my laundry room over at Remodelaholic yesterday!

  22. Sorry, removed my prior comment due to spelling errors:)

    This sounds like quite the adventure!

  23. Looks like it was fun? I loved this post. You put a smile on my face.
    By the way, I didn't think (that) about the blob. Didn't even occur to me.

  24. Bliss,

    You are the best! Your non-chocolate cake pops look ready for the stage :)

    Thanks for the laugh today :)


  25. I will never, I repeat NEVER make red velvet anything! Love the pictures of the vampire child feasting.
    I'm not a fan of cake pops. I despise canned frosting and would buy one of those cake pop makers if i knew if they actually worked. Anyone have any success with one?
    You're a good sport, Mama!

  26. Oh my, that is just hilarious!! Thank you for the very early morning chuckle!!

  27. OH goodness that is too funny. How did the chili come out? ;)

  28. I just had to go check out the picture that you were referring to on peoples blog roll. I saw what you were talking about immediately. Hilarious! I will be posting my husbands homemade chili recipe (his creation) on my blog soon. You'll have to try it out. It has a little bit of beer in it too. No kidding!

  29. Forgot to mention that your story about making these cake pops is a scream!!!! I will take your advice and just not make them. Ha!

  30. LOL..I love this post!! Sending (((hugs))) your way,

  31. I have never made cake pops and now I know why:)


  32. Great effort...LOL!!

  33. This made me giggle.... and the pop cake balls look delish!

  34. Visiting you from Down to Earth Style. Love that photo of the little red hands and spoon. So cute! Looks like the kids had lots of fun.

  35. Oh no.....that did turn into a disaster! LOL Yes...chocolate is finicky. If you heat it too much, it becomes like clay!! That can happen in the double boiler, too....speaking from experience! :)

  36. Looks like the kids had fun.......Thanks for linking up @CountryMommaCooks…..have a wonderful week:)

  37. Oh honey, this DOES crack me up! I promise you... I'm not trying to trick you about the Lemon CakeBalls. BUT, I have learned from YOUR wisdom.... NO RED VELVET! Absolutely... NOT!

    Something I totally would not have thought of before reading this post.

    Think of all the kiddos out there that you have saved from being mistaken as wildebeast eating wild wolves. My kiddo... especially.


  38. How did I miss this one, real life...I think you need to write a book...

  39. I don't know how I missed this post ... perhaps I had not yet discovered your awesomeness? Could that be? All I know is (1) no Duncan Hines red velvet cake mix; (2) I will never make a cake pop; and (3) I'm so happy I finally did discover you!

    :) Linda

  40. Yikes lol we should bake together!

  41. I can't believe how red that cake mix is!! Feeding frenzy for sure, too funny! Thanks for the laughs, Bliss

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