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Sunday, January 27, 2013

Tongue In Cheek Tuesday, on Monday


Seems all around the land it's the month of resolutions.
I've made a few in my day, and I only remember two that I ever kept.
To gain weight because I was looking a little thin.
In a dream. 
Once.
OK, no that never happened, the dream or that resolution.  So sad.

The real resolution took place in January of 2012.  For a few months prior I was cleaning out and decluttering.  Then I discovered blogging and realized all the stuff I was cleaning out were treasures that I just needed to learn to display properly. (See my previous post about the metal ware on my mantel).

There is nothing fashionable about storing treasures in a box.  Instead, I have now filled the garage with junk I can look at every freaking day, and realized for me, what a silly resolution decluttering was to begin with.


The resolve for '12 was to use up all my shampoos and conditioners before I bought anything new to try.  Nothing earth shattering or life altering but I wanted to make a difference in my own bathroom, which is where I contemplate all my earth shattering and life altering concepts.   

 I learned that apparently I like to try new shampoos that come out, you know so I can achieve those long silky locks like the hair models.  You would think after attempting that - for what appears to be a 10 year stockpile of bottles - I'd get the hint... "BLISS HONEY... IT AIN'T WORKING FOR 'YA".   Not one of those bottles turned me into a young blonde with shiny long straight tresses.  WTH?  Never mind that I'm brunette.

Only thing that happened was I got 10 years older and my hair started to go gray.  For all I know one of those shampoos is what caused those two things to happen in the first place.  

I realize you would not have thought me a shampoo hoarder.  Proves you can't judge a woman by her hair book by its cover.  How could I know I needed to reform when I didn't even know I was sick till I accepted it was taking more than a couple months to use them all up.



But I kept to the resolution, in fact I'm still working on it.  There are a few almost gone ones yet to finish off, and I spotted some full ones in this antique bathroom cabinet lying in wait.

Bath & Body Works good Smelling Vanilla Sugar & VO5.
Highlighted with Bliss Ranch's color choice of the year "Greige"

Reflecting on the past year of de-shampooing I have made some
 discoveries and observations.....

1.  The cheap crap worked as good as the expensive stuff.  (Hear that Molton Brown!  Or is that Alton Brown?  One is from the food network.)
2.  The expensive stuff looks more fancy schmancy in my bathroom shower.
3.  No one sees my bathroom shower.
4.  I am thankful no one sees my bathroom shower.

Top half of a shampoo hoarders shower

 5.  I don't like shampoos that come in a flip top tube.  You can't get the goo out after the tube takes on air, and if you stand it on end to better enable goo exit you better be darn sure the cap is on tight or your goo ends up seeping out all over making a gooey shampoo shower puddle.  That is IF you can even make the flip top lid shut right and stand up!
More hated flip tops.  *Bliss Ranch highlighted in color of the year Emerald Green

6.  Some shampoo smells better than others.
7.  No one notices that unless their nose is in my hair.
8.  I go no where that it's necessary for someone's nose to be in my hair.
9.  The only one that it matters too how my shampoo smells is me.
10.  I can only smell my shampoo while I am in the shower.
11.  The smell only matters till I get out and put in mousse, add hair spray or put on perfume.


12.  And what about sample sizes lifted from hotels to send with my kids to camp?
13.  I have no kids going to camp anymore.

14. The only cure for the frizzies caused by summer humidity, is sub zero Winter temps.  There is no shampoo-conditioner combo that can fix it or mimic Winter and there is no frizz in Minnesota in January and no sub zero temps in July.
15.  I had a disproportionate amount of shampoos to conditioners left.  Is that normal?

And last of utmost importance:
16.  If you wash and condition your hair but decide you don't have to leave the house so why bother to dry and style it, without a doubt that is the day the FedEX or UPS man will ring the bell.  
Every. Single. Time.
And he knows you're in there.


So my resolution for 2013 is to blow dry and style my hair after each shower.  Maybe the UPS man will be so captivated by my fabulous hair that he won't notice I'm still in my jammies at 2:00 in the afternoon.

If he arrives after 3:00 I make someone else answer the door.


Want to poke fun at yourself?  Let one of us know you want to join in for Tongue in Cheek Tuesday, which happens every month, (maybe), on Tuesday, (but sometimes not).  My last/first Tongue in Cheek Tuesday was on a Thursday.  Who cares right?




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37 comments :

  1. I don't think any shampoo gets my hair clean anymore. Maybe I need some Prell!

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  2. Oh . My . Gosh . I love. I hate the flip top tubes. It's like the screw off beer tops...who does that?? And the emerald green looks fantastic!! I don't think you mentioned it enough times though...Emerald Green. There, I added it again.

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  3. Oh you are so funny! I love that you are a hoarder of something. I have to say that when I look at my box of partially used shampoo and conditioners, I have a lot more conditioners. It's a total scam by the people who make it. You wash, rinse and repeat....always repeat, but the conditioner...only once. So why don't they make those bottles 1/2 the size??? Total scam. And..her I was feeling guilty about my long-standing goal of getting out of my jammies by 10, which I never attain. I just grab a candy when the UPS guy comes and act like I live the life of luxury, staying in my jammies and eating bon-bons all day! My tip to you....keep a box of candy by the door and smile, smile, smile. Oh...and maybe get some emerald green jammies, so you're up to date!

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  4. Time for you to embrace the big shampoo bottle with a pump, Bliss. They are your friend. I use CHI products just for the smell alone. My hubby, too. I don't like his smell messing up my smell.
    And maybe keep a turban close by for when it's delivery day...you know like Joan Crawford would have worn with her silk dressing gown. Make sure you accessorize with a fake ciggie in a gold cigarette holder. If you don't, you're going to blow the whole look. Don't forget those eyebrows.

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  5. I'm giggling at this post....maybe they caused you to go gray....wouldn't surprise me....

    What's bad is when you have a family member that's allergic to everything but Aveda, and you've earned so many Aveda points that you can go to a Canadian spa :/

    I wish we could all use Pert. And save money. And have pretty hair.

    xo,
    RJ

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  6. After kids 4 I stopped caring about my hair, if I made it to the shower before the older kids got home from school it was a good day! May the ups man spend 2013 captivated with your luscious locks!

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  7. It's a good thing I'm not a shampoo hoarder. With my short hair, I only need a teaspoon of shampoo a day, so I'd have to live to be 150 if I had all those bottles in my shower! Now makeup is a whole nuther story! I've probably got enough to paint our house. And the neighbor's too.

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  8. You know what is funny? Okay not funny... but I totally did this too. I vowed to use up what I had open and the dozen bottles I had in reserve. I don't have all the sample sizes. But when you can't turn around in the shower (yours is FABULOUS!!!! BTW. I want it.) you know that the 5 shampoos and 4 conditioners and the hair masque may be a bit much. Since you can only use one at a time. And half the time I don't condition. And I hardly dry my hair either! Some days, I only pick Austin up from school, and it rains 75% of the time here.. so doing my hair is a waste about 99% of the time. Do you like my math? Oh, I see something shiny.

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  9. You are SO funny, Bliss! Even the comments were funny. I don't hoard hair products, but I have a "Fear Of Running Out" problem. My bathroom closet has everything in multiples...shampoo, conditioner, hair spray, gels, and of course toothpaste, mouthwash, lotions and potions. When I'm down to the last five of anything, I buy more. Oh, and I can totally identify with the hair/PJ thing. It's not about Fed Ex or UPS, I'm far to excited about the packages. It's spilling on my favorite bathrobe when I'm making dinner. ;-D

    XO,
    Jane

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  10. I only have 3 things to say about this post:
    1. I was WITH all the way to #14
    2. #14 is a jab at Conspiracy Theorists ideas on Global Warming
    3 #15...I have a disproportionate amount of Month to Money left ...EVERY.SINGLE.MONTH!! So using everything I have to the last drop before buying SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER of all things... IS A NECESSARY EVIL!

    ...enjoyed it! ~Corn


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  11. You crack me up....seriously crack me up...I should join in on the crazy let me think of the things I can use ...hmmmm
    1.I'm going to stop drinking Dr Pepper and more water right. Its like a drug if I buy another 6pack my hon won't notice I drank the whole 6pack in one day.

    2. I am not vain, I have 6 different makeup bases, 4 different tubes of masquera, and untold tubes of lipstick and lets not discuss eye shadow...leave the house with out makeup never,maybe leave but never arrive without. Everyone drives with their knees while putting on makeup right..and my hub knows it will take 1 hour min for me to be ready to leave the house...hair we won't go their

    3.Cooking now that is a laugh, I decided to make cookies one day, My son came down the steps grabbed a camera(pre camera phone) and snapped a pic...Had to document this Mom Baking.....we have a sign in the Kitchen "Pats Kitchen" that would be my Hubby

    4.on time, if that drives you crazy then I would drive you crazy cause I have to put on my makeup, right and that takes time...plus I detest morning!don't talk before I have had at least one Diet Dr Pepper and used up all the hot water in the shower....So do you think I can pick on myself....

    have not done much posting as we have been working a redo of the living room....it is just a little living room how could it take so long to get it back together.....again thanks for a giggle, Honestly I tossed 15 bottles of make you younger, skin smoother, de- wrinkle ect...last week,you got to use the stuff for it to work right....

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  12. I can't say I really care about hair products but I'm THRILLED to find out other gals stay in their jammies way past a decent hour. The neighbours know I will go to my chicken coop in a nightgown, with a barn coat thrown over top, at noon. If a delivery arrives at noon, I pretend I'm sick or worked a night shift somewhere.

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  13. Well, I guess I am going against the flow here but I am so impressed! I mean, you BOUGHT fancy hair products! I LOOK at fancy hair products, and smell them and read the hype on the label but then I look at the price and think Holy Crap...I could buy a quart of paint with that money! Then my hand moves to the good old Suave and I'm done. My girls despair over me all the time.......Once, in the past 2 years, I tried to curl my hair....too much trouble. But then...who expects old people to look nice...unless they live in Hollywood where it's illegal to grow old...
    The good thing is...I can tell you for a FACT that those products didn't make you old or gray......

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  14. But wait...! Is that one of those horrible, awful SCALE thingys under your gorgeous antique bathroom cabinet....??

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  15. LOL!! Now that is the perfect party for you my friend!! I would definitely "poke fun" at myself...if I thought it would actually make someone laugh...truth is I'm really not that funny! Maybe you could write a post making fun of ME that I could link?? Haha!!

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  16. LOL! I just want your shower. That's all I'm sayin'.

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  17. Haha I died laughing at #16. So hilarious. And I've had this same goal!! Use up all of my other shampoos before I buy new ones. And I've noticed sometimes I use three conditioner bottles before I get through one shampoo bottle. I guess I use a ton of conditioner - I just slather it on.

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  18. I am a huge hair product hoarder...I am! I finally decided that some had a shelf-life and they had expired. So when we moved - I am still a hair product hoarder - only less. Have you tried Moraccan Oil??? Loving that one these days. You'll save money on shampoo in 2013...and your shower is really pretty.

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  19. A shampoo hoarder...who knew? Maybe there's a 12 step program for that. I like pump top bottles, so I buy supersize from Sam's...I hoard it all in one giant bottle. And you and I could have some great pajama parties at 2 in the afternoon...the delivery guys wouldn't know who I was if I was fixed up...

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  20. Today you are speaking my language. My other job, besides blogging, is that of a hairstylist. I am surrounded by hair products, so early on I had to set rules for myself. I only bring home shampoo when I am out. If I don't like a shampoo I throw it away, or give it away. We have very hard water where we live so here there is a difference between good and cheap shampoo. If I use cheap shampoo I have hay hair. So not pretty.
    I do end up with more conditioner than shampoo, but here is a tip. Conditioner makes shaving much easier. It works better than soap with less nicks, cuts, and ingrown hairs.
    Once a year I throw all my samples away. It actually feels really good to de-clutter.
    One more rule. Only one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in the shower at a time. There is no need for more.
    One more little tip, but it has nothing to do with shampoo. The all time best hairspray in the world in Kenra, 25 vol. I have literally tried them all. It is the best.
    Happy Tuesday, and I would love to join your Tuesday group even if you post on Monday or Thursday. Haha.

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  21. Now THAT's a good resolution. After all, how do you know if those shampoos/conditioners actually work unless you blow dry and style??
    xo Heidi

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  22. Right now I'm washing my hair with baking soda. Working pretty good. Much safer then the soaps you buy at stores.


    lisa

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  23. What a riot you are! lol

    I agree with the flip tops. Annoying! They always end up with what I call, "the snotty nose" problem.

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  24. OMGosh, this is so funny and one I'm sure many can relate to. As an over 50.. mature woman, grey hair is something I deal with daily. The shampoos, frizz reducers, glosses, coloring jobs .. on and on. It's ridiculous. I think your resolution to get rid/or use up what you have is attainable :) and I also agree that the expensive stuff works just like the inexpensive stuff.. so we can all take a deep breath and save a dollars.

    leslie

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  25. LMAO - I just got rid of the sample sized shampoos for the kids camps last year - they're almost 30 and 28 now!
    AND I have a sign on my front door instructing the couriers to leave the parcel on the nice bench I redid last summer LOL
    Great post Bliss - keeping it real girlfriend!
    If I ever visit - I'm going straight to your bathroom - without a doubt - just TRY to keep me out of it!!!
    XOX

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  26. I can hardly get past that beautiful glimpse of your shower. Did you need a shower big enough to clean an entire football team? If not,maybe you can invite a football team over to get cleaned up and they can use your travel sized shampoos. I also love the linen cabinet...that's beautiful.

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  27. So my back WAS feeling better until I read this post. I laughed so hard that it went out again!! For the record, I could actually count the hairs on my head my hair is so thin. I find a brand that makes my hair look full and thick, I don't switch for years. And, if I don't blow dry my hair, then it looks so flat that someone who didn't know me would think I went and had it flat ironed then pressed it against my head to get it that straight. Also, I like to try new hair spray brands because let's face it. There is always something that will make my hair look better and bigger just around the corner. The top of your shower is really pretty too.

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  28. Found you through Tina at What We Keep and your TICT thing that may or may not happen..

    You are hilarious!! Such a funny post!!

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  29. I don't go anywhere UNLESS someone's nose is going to be in my hair. And your shower looks fancy. And thanks again for the invite. :)

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  30. Hopping over from Buffalo Roam....sitting here laughing at this! I can relate to all the hotel samples and the freakin' flip top bottles!

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  31. It's a gal thing, we have to shower and blow dry and primp everyday! I swear every time I shower and blow dry I am losing about 100 blonde hairs (the grays always hang on) down the drain and another 200 when I blow dry, so I've found the secret to thicker hair... just don't shower!!!
    Hugs,
    Pendra

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  32. LOL I love your post! I'm hear via Suzan at Simply Vintageous to check out your Tongue in Cheek post and I hope this lasts for more than this one time! I hear you about the Purolator, UPS & FedX men. We have the scan stickers on the pool room door around the side of the house so they can leave the packages without needing a signature (husband's business is home based). Of course, there has been once or twice when they come in while I'm in my jammies scanning the laptop curled up on the couch with a couple of blankets. I try to remain very still so they don't look in the sliding doors and see me...I so know what you mean.
    I'm a new follower.
    Debbie :)

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  33. I'm visiting from Buffalo Roam, and you have me cracking up! Damn those flip top bottles!

    {And I'm in love with the cabinet you have to store your hoards of shampoo. :)}

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  34. I do have a collection!!! It is shampoo and conditioners. I too have made the decision to use up all my shampoo and conditioner before getting more :) I hope that I can do it before the end of the year!
    Hugs,
    Joy

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  35. I may be the only person in the world that uses every drop of my shampoo then buys one more. I use MAYBE 3 bottles a year. And just in case you are truly concerned, it is perfectly normal to use your conditioner faster than your shampoo. The American Psychological Society says so. Also, I too, collect miniatures - to offer my guests. They never use them. Occasionally I use them when I run out of shampoo but I still have an embarrassing amount. I've heard you can donate them to shelters.

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  36. I love this series. I'm hopping from blog to blog getting my laughs for the day. Can I join next month, pretty please?????

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  37. Too funny! I hate the flip tops too! And I always have more shampoo than conditioner, always! Thanks for the chuckle!

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