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Thursday, June 26, 2014

At Kirby's Place

Maybe some of you can tell by my sometimes wordy project posts, I really do like to write.

I wrote a play when I was 10 years old and forced the neighborhood kids to act it out.  A murder mystery - I liked those even back then.  The victim was Mrs. Knotta Live.   I know.... oh brother!  What can I say, I was 10.



I don't have any training and would never claim to be a writer, and that play proves it.   Then again I've read many professional writers that I wonder if they just fell into that job..... because they suck.

I did however have something I wrote read at a major league baseball game where I had to go down on the field and pretend that wasn't my short pudgy mom-self on the jumbo-tron for the rest of the stadium to see.

Yeah, I was glad when that was over even if it was suppose to be an honor.

That same ball game, I was starving and Brawn went to get me a hot dog. 

My husband of 18 years whom I thought knew me, brought me back a dog covered in ketchup, mustard and relish.  Smothered in relish actually.

I was all WTF??? Except no one said that back then.

I never use mustard, and I HATE relish!  NEVER in 18 years of marriage had he EVER seen me eat the stuff, and we'd eaten many hot dogs together by then.

Relish - never ate it, never bought it, never ever asked for it....

And I could not understand what would possess him to bring me one with that goop on it.  Plus no napkin to wipe the relish off if perhaps the first time he ever slathered a hot dog in the stuff for me, I per chance might not like it.

I mentioned I was starving.

I was also 8 months pregnant.... hot, fat and hungry.

A lethal combination.

Brawn thought he was being nice.  I thought he was an idiot who never paid attention to important details about me like the fact I freaking hate relish.

He never brought me a relish covered ball park dog again, and surprisingly didn't leave my beechy azz there that day to sulk.

And none of that has anything to do with anything, other than I just remembered it as I was typing about being at that ball game.

My speaking and writing experience consists of when my 25 year old was 17 his classmates called and asked - no begged me - to give the speech at their National Honor Society dinner.  I didn't want to do it, although I was flattered, so they really did have to beg me.  Yes they were desperate so yes I said yes.

The speech was a hit.  I took a lot of care writing it, unlike the stuff I spew on this blog.

Anyway......

So when Kirby from Kirb Appeal decided that she was changing up her blog a bit and focusing more on writing posts instead of taking photos and staging project posts, I begged her to let me guest at her house.

Sometimes I just get tired of taking pictures, it sounded fun to do a post where pictures weren't necessary.

I realize that this was the longest intro ever just to tell you I have been invited to Kirb Appeal to shoot glitter outta my azz.  Kirby's exact words on her blog were;  

I hope the authors don’t take it personally (as if they would even find out about it), and just think to themselves “well, I WRITE for The Huffington Post and you DON’T, old lady!” and then we’ll all hold hands and twirl.  And maybe shoot glitter out of our butts.

So stop over at Kirb Appeal today if you want to read what I have to say.  Sort of like this post.... a lot of words about nothing, only I included a couple pictures at her place.





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16 comments :

  1. YAY BLISS! Thanks for stopping in and posting for me! (I promise to never send you relish.)

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  2. i loved your post over there, and loved this one, too! :) i was shooting out german glass glitter and now my azz hurts.

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  3. Mrs Knotta Live! You are too funny! Going over to see what else you have to say. Relish..gross!

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  4. What fun to be able to just yap without having to make and photograph something first!

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  5. headed over to Kirby's place!
    after I go pee--you crack me up!

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  6. Hi Bliss. I really enjoy reading your blog. It is such a refreshing change from most. Love your awesome sense of humor. If I am having a bad day, you always make me smile (laugh) really.

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  7. Well, you're very good at "much ado about nothing."
    Brenda

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  8. I read your post at Kirby's place. Very funny as usual. You have a sense of humor about everything and anything.

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  9. Well, I'm heading over there now! I'm sure it will be a "good read".

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  10. Will be visiting over at Kirby's to see what's up! I love your writing style and totally think you SHOULD consider yourself an author...and glitter blower.

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  11. Being an avid mystery story reader, I would love to read about Mrs Knotta Live. Heading over to Kirby's to see if you mention her ;)

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  12. I just read your guest post and left my comment over at Kirby's. It was a fun Sunday morning read, unlike our local newspaper. :)

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  13. I cannot believe anyone could say that Clint has aged badly (or any of them) how dare they.
    It was obviously written by someone with a lot of time on their hands and not much purpose in life.
    As Oprah says, we're all lucky to age at all !
    Not that I'm getting on my soap box or anything, it was a funny post Mrs. B, and thanks for the pics, I do like a picture or two, sorry !

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  14. Loved your so true and funny post, Bliss! I'm so glad no one is following me with a camera...

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  15. Finally getting around to the rounds. Great job at Kirb's. :)

    -andi

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I read every.single.comment. If comments are turned off on a post, it is due to those nasty spammers, so drop me an email instead - just make sure you are not a no-reply blogger.

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