I wrote a play when I was 10 years old and forced the neighborhood kids to act it out. A murder mystery - I liked those even back then. The victim was Mrs. Knotta Live. I know.... oh brother! What can I say, I was 10.
I don't have any training and would never claim to be a writer, and that play proves it. Then again I've read many professional writers that I wonder if they just fell into that job..... because they suck.
I did however have something I wrote read at a major league baseball game where I had to go down on the field and pretend that wasn't my short pudgy mom-self on the jumbo-tron for the rest of the stadium to see.
Yeah, I was glad when that was over even if it was suppose to be an honor.
That same ball game, I was starving and Brawn went to get me a hot dog.
My husband of 18 years whom I thought knew me, brought me back a dog covered in ketchup, mustard and relish. Smothered in relish actually.
I was all WTF??? Except no one said that back then.
I never use mustard, and I HATE relish! NEVER in 18 years of marriage had he EVER seen me eat the stuff, and we'd eaten many hot dogs together by then.
Relish - never ate it, never bought it, never ever asked for it....
And I could not understand what would possess him to bring me one with that goop on it. Plus no napkin to wipe the relish off if perhaps the first time he ever slathered a hot dog in the stuff for me, I per chance might not like it.
I mentioned I was starving.
I was also 8 months pregnant.... hot, fat and hungry.
A lethal combination.
Brawn thought he was being nice. I thought he was an idiot who never paid attention to important details about me like the fact I freaking hate relish.
He never brought me a relish covered ball park dog again, and surprisingly didn't leave my beechy azz there that day to sulk.
And none of that has anything to do with anything, other than I just remembered it as I was typing about being at that ball game.
My speaking and writing experience consists of when my 25 year old was 17 his classmates called and asked - no begged me - to give the speech at their National Honor Society dinner. I didn't want to do it, although I was flattered, so they really did have to beg me. Yes they were desperate so yes I said yes.
The speech was a hit. I took a lot of care writing it, unlike the stuff I spew on this blog.
So when Kirby from Kirb Appeal decided that she was changing up her blog a bit and focusing more on writing posts instead of taking photos and staging project posts, I begged her to let me guest at her house.
Sometimes I just get tired of taking pictures, it sounded fun to do a post where pictures weren't necessary.
I realize that this was the longest intro ever just to tell you I have been invited to Kirb Appeal to shoot glitter outta my azz. Kirby's exact words on her blog were;
I hope the authors don’t take it personally (as if they would even find out about it), and just think to themselves “well, I WRITE for The Huffington Post and you DON’T, old lady!” and then we’ll all hold hands and twirl. And maybe shoot glitter out of our butts.
So stop over at Kirb Appeal today if you want to read what I have to say. Sort of like this post.... a lot of words about nothing, only I included a couple pictures at her place.
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