Monday

Magazine Monday is Back...Only For Today

I'm not a fan of mayo. 

I'm president of the I Hate Mayonnaise Club.  At least I thought I was till I Googled it and found out there is a real club for mayo haters with someone who says they are the prez, so I'm not alone.

There is like a whole underground of mayo haters out there.

I can tolerate a bit mixed in with tuna, only if I'm the one who is in control of the dollops that go on.  1/2 tsp. per can of tuna is sufficient.

If there is enough salt and extras like chicken and almonds in a cold type pasta salad - annnnnd it's basically almost dry and not saucy - I can be tempted.

But so help me God if you put it on my hamburger bun or slather it on my bread, you will beg for mercy.

I make the best tater salad this side of the Mississippi, but I don't deviate from the Hellmanns - Best Foods for you West Coasters - and if I've made it right you don't taste any mayo.  At least I don't.

No I don't add mustard either, lets not go there, that's a whole 'nother club.

I've suffered from this all my life, and found a slight tolerance manifest after the age of 40.  Slight.

I was an adult before I ever ate fruit salad again because the first time I ate it my aunt used mayo instead of cool whip or sweet cream.  Who the helll does that?  A grape smothered in mayo.  I could throw up thinking about it.
I learned to be polite as a child and eat what was served to me when I was a guest at peoples homes, but the words tuna salad or deviled eggs was the stuff nightmares were made of. 

Every once in a while I go wild and have a bite or two of coleslaw.  Usually a fork full is more than enough, especially if I can taste the mayo. And dips?  Ohhmyyygosh, I love dips.  So I alter them to skip or drastically reduce any mayo the recipe may call for.

Don't EVEN tell me I would like Miracle Whip better... because I don't.

So what is the worst thing that could happen other than mayo sneaking onto my bread?  Making a sandwich for someone else and some gets on my fingers.  Gag me now.  It can't just be licked off like whip cream.  I'm ok with it touching a knife, but not my skin.

I also passed this mayo fear onto my children.  They figured I ate everything else on the planet, so there really must be something wrong with mayo if mom didn't let it pass her lips.

Then some of those kids got older.  I remember the first time I saw my oldest eating a burger with mayonnaise on it's bun.  I was stunned.  The same kid who would have a fit if the cook made a mistake and it was on his burger pulling out of the drive thru.

I shrieked in panic as I warned him ...... LOOK OUT - THAT HAS MAYO ON IT!!!

His reply?  Yeah, I know I like it now.

YOU WHAT?????  Traitor.

That same son makes his own homemade mayo and he says once you taste it you'll never eat store bought again.  No doubt.

So when the beef roast I put in the crock pot this morning turned into a pork roast later in the day, I realized we weren't having roast beef with carrots and gravy for dinner.

Instead I seasoned up the pork just a little bit for pulled pork.

You see, I don't really like pork all that much either.  Not when it tastes... porky.

You know what I mean, that pig taste.

I seasoned up my crock pot of roast beef that morphed to pork, with a dab of brown sugar, salt, pepper, paprika, and garlic.  Some will put barbecue sauce on theirs, and then there are some of us who don't want barbecue sauce on the pork because they don't really like barbecue sauce either.

However I do eat barbecue sauce, I don't hate it, I just prefer my meat without it most of the time unless we are at a great BBQ place that smokes the meat and does it right.

So since my beef turned into pork, it will be pulled pork sandwiches for dinner, of which I don't really like, with coleslaw that I don't really like, on top.  I'm skipping the barbecue sauce regardless.

And I will eat it, because if I do it right the pork won't taste porky and the slaw won't taste mayo-ish.

Mayo Haters Slaw

Mayo Haters Coleslaw (makes enough to generously top 6 pulled pork sammys)

1/4 head of cabbage sliced to your liking (the store was out of the bagged precut slaw)
1 carrot (I put mine in the Ninja, no reason for it to be beautiful to top ugly pork)
2 green onions, also ground so fine in the ninja the people here who don't like onion won't know they are in it.

Mayo Haters Coleslaw Sauce

1/4 cup mayo, the real stuff
4 TBLS sour cream
1/4 cup olive oil
1/8 cup whipping cream, half and half or milk
salt and pepper, generous to taste
1 or 2 tbs. vinegar (personal preference)
2 tbs. sugar
Mix all together, taste it and adjust.  I don't measure, I go by taste - you know, by how well I've disguised that mayo.

Mayo Haters Slaw

Mix the sauce with the veggies and chill for an hour, top your pork sandwich.

Then mark the beef and pork better in your freezer so your next roast dinner doesn't turn into pulled pork.





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25 comments :

  1. How awesome is that? Congrats on the feature!!

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  2. Congratulations on your fabulous magazine feature!

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  3. Well, how cool is this?! I can't wait to see it! Congratulations, Bliss!!

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  4. the cabinet is adorable and you deserve to be featured in a magazine for all your creativity.

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  5. I loved Magazine Mondays. Congratulations on the magazine feature! That TP is GORGEOUS!!!

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  6. How did I not know THAT? You should toot your own horn more often! I've got several old windows and now I think I need one of these. Could I borrow Brawn for a spell??
    xo Heidi

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  7. Congratulations... Love the cabinet!

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  8. That is super exciting and thrilling!!! You should be proud!! Wasn't I just asking if you were still doing Magazine Monday. I have to say this one is way better!!Kudos!

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  9. You are so creative. I don't see any hardware on this piece (hinges, door handle), how does it open?

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    Replies
    1. Click the link above "Barn Wood Window Cabinet" and that will take you to the original project post with the details.

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  10. YAY Bliss!!! I knew that cabinet was destined for great things the first time I saw it! Congratulations!!

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  11. You are awesome, as always!

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  12. Well deserved. They could obtain umpteen features by perusing your blog.

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  13. Of course I remember Magazine Monday because I was so rubbish at it !
    Wowee Bliss this is amazing and so well deserved - Congratulations x

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  14. Yay, Bliss! Pat yourself on the back, talented lady. :)

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  15. This was such a great project! Well deserved feature!

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  16. I bet I beat you in TP totals, but we won't go there. So stinkin' excited for you!!

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  17. For a minute..I thought you were full of crap...Like Toilet Paper and then I realized it was real LOL!! Way to go Lady! You have hit the big time. Now that your famous don't forget to flush :) For REELZ though...CONGRATS you should be in MORE magazines because of your awesomeness!
    Love ya,
    karin

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  18. You go my friend!! Well deserved. Party like it's 1999 and drive off in your little red corvette:)

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  19. Bliss in Print! How wonderful! Congratulations!!!

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  20. OMG Bliss - congratulations !!!
    It was only a matter of time ( really it was - you do magnificent work !!! )
    SO happy for you XOXOXOXO

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  21. Woo hoo!!!! Congratulations on the well deserved magazine feature! Hmmm, I've got a few old windows around here......food for thought.

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