Mayo Haters Coleslaw

I'm not a fan of mayo. 

I'm president of the I Hate Mayonnaise Club.  At least I thought I was till I Googled it and found out there is a real club for mayo haters with someone who says they are the prez, so I'm not alone.

There is like a whole underground of mayo haters out there.

I can tolerate a bit mixed in with tuna, only if I'm the one who is in control of the dollops that go on.  1/2 tsp. per can of tuna is sufficient.

If there is enough salt and extras like chicken and almonds in a cold type pasta salad - annnnnd it's basically almost dry and not saucy - I can be tempted.

But so help me God if you put it on my hamburger bun or slather it on my bread, you will beg for mercy.

I make the best tater salad this side of the Mississippi, but I don't deviate from the Hellmanns - Best Foods for you West Coasters - and if I've made it right you don't taste any mayo.  At least I don't.

No I don't add mustard either, lets not go there, that's a whole 'nother club.

I've suffered from this all my life, and found a slight tolerance manifest after the age of 40.  Slight.

I was an adult before I ever ate fruit salad again because the first time I ate it my aunt used mayo instead of cool whip or sweet cream.  Who the helll does that?  A grape smothered in mayo.  I could throw up thinking about it.
I learned to be polite as a child and eat what was served to me when I was a guest at peoples homes, but the words tuna salad or deviled eggs was the stuff nightmares were made of. 

Every once in a while I go wild and have a bite or two of coleslaw.  Usually a fork full is more than enough, especially if I can taste the mayo. And dips?  Ohhmyyygosh, I love dips.  So I alter them to skip or drastically reduce any mayo the recipe may call for.

Don't EVEN tell me I would like Miracle Whip better... because I don't.

So what is the worst thing that could happen other than mayo sneaking onto my bread?  Making a sandwich for someone else and some gets on my fingers.  Gag me now.  It can't just be licked off like whip cream.  I'm ok with it touching a knife, but not my skin.

I also passed this mayo fear onto my children.  They figured I ate everything else on the planet, so there really must be something wrong with mayo if mom didn't let it pass her lips.

Then some of those kids got older.  I remember the first time I saw my oldest eating a burger with mayonnaise on it's bun.  I was stunned.  The same kid who would have a fit if the cook made a mistake and it was on his burger pulling out of the drive thru.

I shrieked in panic as I warned him ...... LOOK OUT - THAT HAS MAYO ON IT!!!

His reply?  Yeah, I know I like it now.

YOU WHAT?????  Traitor.

That same son makes his own homemade mayo and he says once you taste it you'll never eat store bought again.  No doubt.

So when the beef roast I put in the crock pot this morning turned into a pork roast later in the day, I realized we weren't having roast beef with carrots and gravy for dinner.

Instead I seasoned up the pork just a little bit for pulled pork.

You see, I don't really like pork all that much either.  Not when it tastes... porky.

You know what I mean, that pig taste.

I seasoned up my crock pot of roast beef that morphed to pork, with a dab of brown sugar, salt, pepper, paprika, and garlic.  Some will put barbecue sauce on theirs, and then there are some of us who don't want barbecue sauce on the pork because they don't really like barbecue sauce either.

However I do eat barbecue sauce, I don't hate it, I just prefer my meat without it most of the time unless we are at a great BBQ place that smokes the meat and does it right.

So since my beef turned into pork, it will be pulled pork sandwiches for dinner, of which I don't really like, with coleslaw that I don't really like, on top.  I'm skipping the barbecue sauce regardless.

And I will eat it, because if I do it right the pork won't taste porky and the slaw won't taste mayo-ish.

Mayo Haters Slaw

Mayo Haters Coleslaw (makes enough to generously top 6 pulled pork sammys)

1/4 head of cabbage sliced to your liking (the store was out of the bagged precut slaw)
1 carrot (I put mine in the Ninja, no reason for it to be beautiful to top ugly pork)
2 green onions, also ground so fine in the ninja the people here who don't like onion won't know they are in it.

Mayo Haters Coleslaw Sauce

1/4 cup mayo, the real stuff
4 TBLS sour cream
1/4 cup olive oil
1/8 cup whipping cream, half and half or milk
salt and pepper, generous to taste
1 or 2 tbs. vinegar (personal preference)
2 tbs. sugar
Mix all together, taste it and adjust.  I don't measure, I go by taste - you know, by how well I've disguised that mayo.

Mayo Haters Slaw

Mix the sauce with the veggies and chill for an hour, top your pork sandwich.

Then mark the beef and pork better in your freezer so your next roast dinner doesn't turn into pulled pork.

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  1. That is hysterical. My hubby ONLY likes Miracle Whip. I hate it-no Miracle for me I like mayo as long as there is not a ton of it on/in/around whatever I am eating....on a hamburger? No way!
    I am not big on a lot of sauces on anything either-especially meat. xo Diana

  2.'re kinda all over the place this morning, aren'tcha? I personally like mayo. I buy the olive oil mayo and I sometimes make my own. That so dang much work though. I like mayo on my burger, too. (I'll wait for the flaming arrows to descend upon me now.) I'm still trying to figure out this beef-turned-pig thing.


  3. I'm not a big mayo fan either..just a touch. I can tolerate it a little more than you can. I never liked bbq sauce!!

  4. LOL, well if you lived in the UK there is a happy alternative called Salad Cream, it's way better than mayo (I don't like it much either), it's not so creamy and has more vinegar in it and is perfect in coleslaw, potato salad, and with fish and chips - looking at your recipe I think you might like it.

  5. I was a mayo hater from birth. I remember as a little girl hiding in the back yard so I wouldn't have to eat the tomato sandwich she had made me for lunch that was smothered in layers of mayo. I was a mustard girl. Now - I have a short list of things in/on which I can tolerate mayo. Now it has to be the right combo. and I love just a smear, you know where the mayo is sheer on the bread, no bumps, on a BLT, turkey, and roast beef sandwiches. My taste for mustard has subsided a little bit. I prefer not to eat cole slaw at all - especially with all the creamy stuff on it. To be honest, I don't really know the difference between your recipe and a regular recipe. If I make slaw I always make that ramen noodle slaw recipe - that's just oil and vinegar.

  6. This sounds good. I do like mayo. But you sound like my husband with the pea gene. He hates peas and he has tainted the children who won't even try one. My boys eat everything...BUT PEAS LOL.

  7. DL belongs to your club. He will be secretary-treasurer. I'm not crazy about mayo either.!but I love Miracle Whip.

  8. I had no idea you were such a picky eater! LOL! I love mayo, but your coleslaw looks delish and I may try it just the way you made it.....then put some extra mayo in it!

  9. I LOOOVE mayo! On the other hand, one spec of mustard or vinegar and I simply cannot eat whatever someone has made for me. It's odd how many people try to convince me I'll like it if I try whatever it is they have made for me. As for BBQ sauce, what's the point of slathering it all over meat? All you taste is BBQ sauce and the meat part is just something to stick it to. Now, we all look like picky eaters.

  10. I'm just laughing at the thought of you being so scared of mayo! LOL
    This makes me think that you must have a painted mayo jar somewhere that you put out for the Halloween scare fest.
    Your cole slaw and sammies sound delish.

  11. I am not a big fan of mayo OR Miracle Whip. Why does every burger place on the planet have to have a "special sauce" mainly made with mayo. And here in Utah they have fry sauce, mayo and ketchup combined for dipping french fries. blech! But I am definitely a mustard girl. My mom said that my favorite sandwich when I was little was white bread and mustard. Nothing else.

  12. I can only eat it mixed in lightly with something...never on a sandwich...YUK. You'd be safe with me...

  13. I don't just belong to the onion haters club, I'm the doggone CEO. My siblings think I should get over it already, and I've tried, but it just ain't happening. Now mayo on the other hand, I'll eat it with most anything. Having said that, if you put slaw in front of me that has sour cream, whipping cream and olive oil, you'll never hear me complain! Pinned

  14. My husband hates mayo, sour cream, cream cheese... I love all of them. Your coleslaw does sound good. I love the splash of apple cider vinegar in coleslaw and it's good in chicken salad too. I'm hungry!


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