Non Edible Spam & What's cooking for Dinner

I'm sitting here as my daughter is in the kitchen making Martha Stewarts mac n cheese recipe that I snagged from the SmittenKitchen.  She is making that and broccoli to go along with the Parmesan Chicken Bake I have in the oven because she said she always gets mac n cheese/broccoli with her parmesan chicken at Noodles & Co. restaurant.  When that meal is over I will frost the Key Lime cake recipe I made from SomewhatQuirky.  We are having a blog land meal.  I've been in a cooking rut and tonight we are breaking out.

 So while I'm waiting for all the tastiness to cook I decided to clean out my email.  I get plenty of spam in my other email accounts, but very little spam at the Bliss Ranch account (that is not an invitation for more thank you very much!) but I noticed one lone junk email from Mr. Salami.

One ridiculous email.  You hear that Mr. Salami, RIDICULOUS!  Do you read my blog and that is how you got my email address?  I think not or you would not have referred to me as 'My Dear'.  I'm not really all that dear.  Oh I see I'm mistaken his name is Samani not Salami.  Whatever, I'm picturing a man that looks like a salami.

Here is Mr. Salami's email, typo's and all, and he has a very serious matter to discuss with dear me.  Hold yourself back because I know all of you are sooooo gonna fall for this and want part of my windfall.....

Hello My Dear, 
 This is very serious, My Name is Mr Hamad Samani, the bill and
exchange manager in the bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina Faso, I
will like to ask for your assistance to resolve and transfer into your
account the total sum $10.5 Million Dollars.
Now my questions are:-
1. Can you handle this project?................
2. Can I give you this trust?.....................
3. What will be your commission?.............
Your full names..........................................
Your phone/fax number.............................
Private email address................................
If you can sponsor and handle this project consider it and get back to
me as soon as possible.But if you are not interested do not bother to
Mr Hamad Samani

Is it any wonder I am not going to bother to respond to Mr. Samani?  I only accept millions of dollars from phoney banks in towns with names I can pronounce.  I'm pretty sure he also could not trust me with his 10.5 mil, even though he doesn't know my name and wants to send it to me anyway, because once it's in my account it's mine.

I used my 45 minutes of dinner baking time to delete one email.  Now you understand why I didn't get a project done this week.  But I intend on getting some eat'n done right about now.  Later you can check my Pinterest board where I collect recipes I want to try, and I will leave a comment on the recipes about to pass from fork to lip at our table.


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  1. Yuck, spam is not nice. at all. But...that dinner sounds lovely! Let me know next time your daughter is cooking, I'll be over!

  2. just received my check from the emperor spamani of ugandasvekistan.... SO excited and not sure what to spend it on!

  3. Could you forward my email address to Hamad, my dear? I'd like to retire early and this is the answer to my prayers. :@

    *I thought for sure you'd have the 1970's recipe for Spamburgers in this post. I think we need to try the recipe out on the younger generation.

  4. Doesn't spam just drive you nuts? I hate it! I wonder how many people actually believe that crap?

  5. I think you have become as synical as I am. Makes you wonder why they bother with this kind of spam. Someone somewhere must be falling for it.

  6. How much longer til my 5-years-old-on-Wednesday daughter can make me dinner? That's what I want to know:)


  7. LOL...I get those emails all the time. One day it will be for realz, and I just know I am going to hit delete. Oh well, I am just not meant to be rich. Dinner sounds good Bliss, my dear.

  8. The poor man had to contact you because I didn't respond to his plea for help. Sorry I put you to the trouble but I really can't handle and more millions! ~ Maureen

  9. I love how he gives you the two options. To respond if you're interested and ....wait for not respond if you're not interested. Thanks for clarifying Mr. Salami. I'll bet this guy picks his nose.

  10. O, he found you to....I can tell all out their...this little common sense...I tried and tried to teach this to my employees over the years....IF it too good to be true, It is problem is....I have my comments sent to my email...and I have had more spam advertising in the last week....vs just one in since I started In march..I don't know if it because my readership is starting to improve daily(80-100)no I am no where in the world of many in blogland,just saying...

  11. I get a different one of these every week. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one! Go ahead and send the money sir....I'll make sure you get it..NOT!


  12. I couldn't help but laugh! This was a very entertaining post to read!!!

    Glad to know the Parmesan Chicken recipe is a keeper. I have it pinned as well but haven't tried it yet. Pinterest can definitely get one out of a dinner rut! I have tried several recipes that are delish!

    1. Glad you liked it. The parm chicken wasn't too different than other recipes I have tried, and if you like parmesan it's a keeper.

  13. That's too funny! That was a fun read :) I stopped by to tell you that I have two awards for you over on the blog today! :)

  14. sounds like he really needs help! Poor thing. And he asked so earnestly and so nicely....
    ....for a salami head :)

  15. Now that I have directions to your house, I'm coming for dinner.
    I hope that new bar is stocked and ready.
    Feed Salami man to the dogs.

  16. love smitten kitchen-missed that post so thanks for that. funny post-disgusting spam

  17. First- what a menu! I am off to look at recipes.

    Mr. Samani needs a better pitch!

    Have a great weekend,

    White Spray Paint

  18. ok, that explains a lot. I think Mr Salami wrote me a few emails too. You meal sounds way good!

  19. I can't believe that people actually fall for those scams! Crazy! Lucky you, having your daughter help cook dinner too.

  20. Well, My Dear (heck, I figure that if a salami can call you that, I can), I'm sorry that you won't be receiving the $10.5M from the spam guy but it's Saturday...there's always hope for winning the lottery, right? You did play....didn't you? You make me smile! xo

  21. And why did you think this was spam? I guess I shouldn't ask you for a loan of a few million?

  22. My favorites are the ones from elderly women with out families that want to leave me their entire estates and money. Thanks adopted African grandmother lol

  23. Being I live in Minnesota the place where some Poor Soul actually thought up a food called "Spam" I thought that is where you were headed on your blog. But alas, you were not talking about such food (thank goodness!) and made me have the need to use the potty from laughing so hard.
    Have missed our chats ... I am behind on blogs ... was really sick last week! Ugh

  24. Poor Mr. Salami with no one to help him! LOL!

  25. I got the same email and didn't respond, I wondered what happened to the money ;)

  26. I can't understand why you didn't take him up on the offer - sounds genuine !
    I have a US General on Skype who wants me to contact him so that I can 'know him more better'.
    What do you think, should I make 'adorable good frienship' with him !

  27. Darn it - if you had accepted the $10.5 you could have helped save my friend who went to Europe and got mugged. She had no money, no passport and just needed me to wire $4,000 into this nice person's bank account. He worked at the Embassy and was going to help her get home. Oddly, she showed up for work yesterday...and couldn't remember a thing about her ordeal!

    You certainly make spam entertaining! Thanks for the chuckle.


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