50 Shaded Questions

Kirby from Kirb Appeal and Andi from Delusions of Ingenuity, are now on the top of my list.

You know what list that is right?.... my schmidt list.  

Not because I don't like them, I do, they are a whole lotta funny.

They are on the list because they've obviously got my number and know I won't say no.

So, because I am such a gosh darn good sport, I'm going to answer 50 questions that I was tagged in....twice.... that have nothing to do with painting or recycling furniture.

That is twice as in I was tagged twice.  You're welcome -  I won't be answering them twice.

1. What are you wearing?
My birthday suit.  With a jammies chaser.
2. Ever been in love?
So many men, so little time.  
But only one love that I made time for, and now he can't get rid of me except with a shovel and a hole.
3. Ever have a terrible break-up? 
Just terrible break outs.  
Which my mom told me would stop by the time I was 21.  She lied.
4. How tall are you?
Tall enough to be the last to know it's raining and the first to drown.
5. How much do you weigh?
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
6. Any tattoos?
Recently while I was passed out someone tattooed an old lady on my face.  I will find them, and I will hurt them.
7. Any piercings?
Nothing anyone can drive a stake through.
8. OTP (One true pair, favorite fictional couple?)
Good thing this had an explanation because I had no idea what OTP stood for.  Guess I'll have to say Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.  What that's not fiction, who the helll cares.  I also realize they are not a couple, but I like how Paul Neuman and Robert Redford are easy on my eyes.
9. Favorite Show?
I.Don't.Watch.TV.... but when I walk by, if Whose Line Is It? should happen to be on - I watch.
10. Favorite Bands?
Offspring. Def Leppard. Nickleback. AC/DC. Jackson Browne. Weird Al. 

And everything in-between.
11. Something you miss?
Green Ghost Game, and smaller underwear.
12. Favorite Song?
According to my itunes I have 50 can't live without all time favorite songs.
13. How old are you? 

Young enough to not yet have become my mother, although my face tattoo says otherwise.
14. Zodiac sign?
Didn't he leave dead bodies all over Northern California?  Now THAT'S a sign huh!
15. Quality to look for in a partner?
I'm not looking anymore, but whatever they were my husband has them all.
16. Favorite Quote?
Oh for the love of God!

The helll 'ya say!
Obviously I don't quote movies or books.
17. Favorite Actor?
I don't have a favorite, or anything witty to say about why.
18. Favorite Color?
Black and white, and don't lecture me on whether or not those are colors.
19. Loud music or soft?
Danceable in either volume.
20. Where do you go when you are sad?
Nowhere. I'm the happiest person I know unless the police are looking for dead bodies at my house.
21.  How long does it take you to shower?
Depends if Sasquatch has to shave.  
(Ah ha ha ha...Stolen answer from Andi @Delusions of Ingenuity.)
22.  How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
A long time, I'm usually not ready to leave the house ever.
23. Ever been in a physical fight?
Yes.  Debbie Tango asked for it when she jumped off her bike in the street thinking she was going to beat me up in front of my friends.  I held her down on the ground by her hair while defending myself from her flailing arms trying to slap me and escape my evil clutches.  Her father came to tell on me and almost got knocked off our porch by my dad.  Dad stood up for me first, and asked questions later.  Wasn't nobody gonna talk smack about daddy's girl on his own porch.
24. Turn on?
The coffee maker.
25. Turn-off?
The air conditioning - I try not to use it all summer.
26. The reason I started blogging?
I was bored on January 1st 2012 after Christmas was over.  True fact.
27. Fears?
Breaking a hip, because I know they’ll just put me down. 

(Ah ha ha ha...Stole this answer from Kirby at Kirb Appeal).
28. Last thing that made you cry?
I'm sure it was something sappy on facebook that I could not resist clicking on because it told me to get my tissues ready.
29. Last time you said you loved someone?
Verbally yesterday, but it's on my heart 24/7.
30. Meaning behind the name of your blog (Bliss Ranch)?
All the great blog names were already taken, and I'm so blissful.
31. Last book you read?
Probably one of my kids baby books. Or Kirby & Andi's long azz 50 Things List they tagged me in.
32. Book you are currently reading?
I'm not.  If I read books I wouldn't have time to think of 50 answers.
33. Last show you watched?
Whatever was on the tube as I climbed into bed.
34. Last person you talked to?
A Son, and a Father.
35. The relationship between you and the person you just texted?
Am I suppose to go look at my phone to find out who that was?  Because sorry, but I'm not moving away from this bagel and coffee.
36. Favorite food?
All of it.... minus liver, lutifisk, kimchi, and durian fruit.  Friends make me try weird edibles and I almost throw up on their dining room tables.
37. Place you want to visit?
I have traveled enough that I just like to stay home.
38. Last place you were?
The kitchen for that bagel.
39.  Do you have a crush?
Just on chalkboards.
40. Last time you kissed someone?
Random kisses happen all the time, I think it was last night at 6:00.
41. Last time you were insulted?
Friday morning at 7:35 on September 3rd, 2014.
 42. Favorite flavor of sweet?
Sugar pie honey bunch.
43. What instruments do you play?
Harp, oboe, harmonica, and didgeridoo.  Not really.  But we do have a harmonica and didgeridoo that I have not mastered.
44. Favorite piece of jewelry?
Necklace with a cross blessed by the Pope and three stamped charms; one with my wedding date, the other two with my kids names - because when you have six kids one charm isn't big enough.

45. Last sport you played? 
Synchronized hide and seek. 
46. Last song you sang?
Amazing Grace alone in the car.
47. Favorite chat up line?
I don't know what that means.
48. Have you ever used it?
Yes, I say "I don't know what that means" all the time.
49.  Last time you hung out with anyone?
I'm never alone - forced hang out time at this house whether I want to or not.
50. Who should answer these questions next?

Well I'm contemplating right now who I can piss off, cuz you know everyone is always too busy for this stuff .... 
or they can't be bothered with non blog building minutia....
or their answers are more boring than mine.
As you see I was a good sport so I think others should be too.  That's why I'm leaving it open to volunteers.  If you want to, just do it. 

P.S.  Anyone who wants to help me come up with a 50 Shady Questions list let me know.  No questions like... have you ever been in love, what you weigh, or the last song you sang.   

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  1. these were so funny to read and oh so you!!! kirby tagged me, too , and i have mine almost done!

  2. Love your answers! We have the same tattoo!

  3. You are too funny. I'm almost glad we don't hang out in "real life". I would have to wear Depends, have my rescue inhaler on me at all times, and remember the cure for hiccups.

    I have that tattoo.

    Jane xx

  4. Ha! #14? Best. Answer. Ever.

  5. Surprise surprise I have didgeridoos, my parents bought them, hand crafted from a tribe in the outback, I can't play it. I truly think you have to be an aborigine to play them, never seen a white man masrer it. Great read Bliss.

  6. Just what is a chat up line? It sounds dirty.

  7. On the physical fight question, all I got to was the "Yes. Debbie Tango asked for it" and I laughed out loud and snorted, making my co-workers wonder what kind of accounting practice I am doing in my little back office that would spark such a reaction.

  8. agree with Bondie's Journal!! Hilarious, am still laughing!!!

  9. Am I the only one who did this and didn't hate the person who tagged them? Sheesh. Your answers are brilliant, even if the questions were forced upon you. May the force be with you. And also with you.


  10. You are so funny. I love it! And people read your blog on the job... now THAT should make you feel special :) Our lives sound similar. Especially the coffee maker turn on.

  11. You are truly a funny person. I so enjoy your wit. My hubby is like you. Thanks so much for doing this, it made my morning. Is that pathetic or good, don't know. Have a great weekend!!


  12. Loved reading them all!! You know we have a shared love of Paul & Robert! I just recently found out what OTP means,,,my kids were explaining it to me.

  13. This has been one of the most enjoyable post I've read, ever!!!

  14. Thanks for the laugh! I'm supposed to be working but laughing at your witty answers was much more productive use of my time anyway! :)

  15. OK, I blew my nose, wiped my eyes and I can breath now. Who dreams up these questions/lists anyhoo. I'm lost on some of those acronyms but most stuff and your answers were hilarious ... natch. But I think we should all get together and hunt down that tatoo dude. Like doing this on the butt wasn't bad enough ... he has to go for the face too? Just pure cruelty! Let's get that guy!

  16. OMG to the OTP, that's OMG to the OTP, yeah you know... (don't know the rest of the words to that rap song). But I have been LMBO over hear at your answers and feeling kinda special about my own tattoo, now. We should start a Same Tattoo Facebook group?? Thanks for the laughs, Bliss!

  17. Six kids? No wonder you're're high right now aren't you? LMBO

  18. You are one smart and funny lady, no one could answer those questions better !


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